Another Negative

I'm not entirely sure how to even begin this post, so I'm just going to blurt it out. 

IVF #4 failed.

I'm angry.  I'm sad.  I'm heart broken.  I don't understand why.  I feel like my body has failed me... again.

Life is hard.  This is hard.  It doesn't get easier. 

Christmas is two days away and I feel so much pain.  I'm not sure how I will be able to enjoy myself over the next couple of days.  As families come together to celebrate Christmas with laughter, love and giving, I will be grieving the loss of my two precious embryos that were supposed to be our miracle babies. 

My heart aches and my mind wonders how I will make it through this... again.

I will post details of this cycle in the days to come, but for now, my husband and I are holding each other tight.  And we are still praying... for strength, comfort and for our hope and faith to soon be renewed.